After the War
by xJKxD
Summary: The fourth ninja world war is finally over. Though the shinobi alliance won, it wasn't the time to celebrate victory. The losses on their side were immense. A fact hard to accept, especially for the silverhaired shinobi, who couldn't handle to lose another person close to him. Instead of grieving, he was relentlessly trying to search for what cannot be found again. The dead.
1. After the War

**Disclaimer:** _If I would own Naruto...*nya...Tenzoouuu...* sry ~ got distracted ~ eh plot is mine characters aren't. xD_  
**Careful: **_Yaoi ~ don't like it ~ pls don't read it_

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The captain of the successful third division was slowly wandering around the cold, dirty ground, which was stained here and there with the blood of the fallen.

His head was facing the lonely soil, as if he had to watch every step his feet were taking. Even though he felt exhausted, he was straining his senses to the very limit in order to find the people who were missing. In order to find him.

Kakashi and his eight Ninken helped to search the remaining battlefields for survivors.

While more than half of the still breathing shinobi were already gathering in Iwagakure, their new head-quarter, a few teams stayed behind to clean up the mess caused by the war.

In Iwa the Kages were trying to figure out the total losses, discussing treaties to secure the continuance of their alliance and searched for ways to support each other even after the war. The previously hostile five, great villages were working together on a solution to provide a better future for each of them.

Especially Konoha should be grateful for the help, after all they would return into a still damaged village. It would have been unnecessarily hard to fight off their remaining enemy all by themselves while rebuilding everything what was destroyed by Pein's attack.

Kakashi and the others were doing another job. A dirtier one.

Corpses were retrieved, a few wounded as well, who were immediately treated by the supporting Iryōnin, but the shocking truth was, that their number was reduced radically.

More than 60.000 lives were lost, in a meaningless battle, caused by a delusional man wanting to do the right thing in the wrong way.

But in the end they had won and the villages gained something important, they should not even dare to lose again. Hoping this fourth ninja world war would be the last in their history, they earned trust in each other, and eventually overcome the troubles of their past.

The sadness seemed to have reached even the iciest hearts and was able to talk some sense into them, an ability similar to the blue eyed, blond haired shinobi's, who was supposed to be protected from this fight, but in the end faced the Raikage and convinced him to let him be alongside his friends, fighting for their sake.

When the last battle was over, the Raikage admitted in front of all the other Kages what a foolish mistake they had been chasing after. Not only because it was Naruto who stopped the enemy completely, but because he saw the soul of this boy as he charged into battle. Who was he to deny him the chance to save his comrades and lock him up while his friends could be dying for his safety.

Three days have already passed since then. The search parties grew thinner and the remaining shinobi were staying on a voluntary basis. As the amount of people needed to be identified by their families increased, the hope to find someone with a slight spark of life inside of him started to fade away.

"It's war. We knew it would take sacrifices," the silverhaired was mumbling absently, while he set his feet one by one on the muddy earth. Pakkun was following his friend slowly, step by step, hearing him mumbling, he raised his head. The expression on his friend's face pained him.

"But you know that we've won, don't you, Kakashi?", he could hear his own doubting voice, but this was the best he could manage after what they have been through these last days.

Kakashi tilted his head a little, thinking about his companion's words. "True, it doesn't feel like victory though," he answered straight-away.

Madara was defeated by the united power of the five Kages, Itachi stopped the Edo Tensei just as he promised he would and this amazing boy Naruto, who reminded Kakashi more and more of his deceased Sensei, killed the masked man, or Tobi as he was referring to himself, by smashing him with all his and Kurama's might into the ground, till everything that was left of him was dust.

"Naruto has grown into an impressive young man, ne? I'm sure your damn proud of him Minato, he even managed to create a bond with the nine-tailed, just as you predicted he would," Kakashi was whispering into the thin air, his eyes gazing into the way too blue and beautiful sky for such tragic days.

The brown fur-ball beneath his feet was shaking his head in disagreement, "It's not only Minato who should be proud. You taught him after all, like Minato taught you. And the same goes for Naruto. Truth be told, not one of our young shinobi died in this war, and they had to face the danger of the strongest shinobi which were ever born into this world," Pakkun paused to glance at his partner but Kakashi didn't respond.

"What I'm trying to say is that we don't have to worry about the village. The brats will take good care of it. Gaara is a brilliant example. He is doing well as the Kazekage, better than some Kages before him," the dog added, figuring out a way to cheer the silverhaired up, but he knew it wasn't that simple.

"I know that. They've long surpassed us and that's how it should be. Maa, they are even by far stronger than we were at their age. That's not what troubles me," his last words were barely audible, not more than a faint whisper, but Pakkun understood them very well. Especially the secret message behind them.

Pakkun sighed, his eyes still fixed on the man next to him. He had similar thoughts ever since the war had started. The most painful misgivings were crossing his head as Aoba shared his news with them.

But the small pug knew that Kakashi would never allow his true fears and hopes, crawling under the cool surface of his, to shine through that openly.

By all means he tried to hide them under a faked façade, to give the people around him the courage and support they needed. He couldn't let it slip. The responsibility to held up the moral and endurance of the third unit weighed high on his shoulders.

And maybe he had thought, by fooling the ones around him, he would be able to fool himself for a little while at least. Someone though, didn't believe him. Saw straight through the bitter mask he had put on. And the one was currently worrying his brain for a possibility to approach his feelings without hurting him.

Only one of the reasons, why they have split up from their actual search party. Kakashi of course was always known as a lone wolf, who preferred being by himself and the ones he cares about.

It was hard for him to take responsibility over the third division, not because he lacked the skills, quite the opposite, but he just didn't like the fact that he was the one in charge of so many lives.

He couldn't afford any mistakes if dying was the price to pay.

Kakashi's right hand reflexively touched his cheek, through his fingerless gloves he could feel the soft skin on his fingertips, as he moved up to the scar on his left eye.

Ever since that day when Obito... it was hard for him to see his comrades die with his very own eyes. It didn't matter if it was on a simple mission or war. It would never be easy.

Suddenly the silence was interrupted as Pakkun hectically jumped onto his shoulder, urged to be near something that wasn't as dead as the wasted lands they were walking on.

"Can you believe we lost so many?", he said while he leaned in, his small head rubbing against Kakashi's cheek. The silverhaired shook his head lightly, before he patted the pug's head carefully.

"The family and friends at home, waiting for their beloved ones to return will be devastated." - "They aren't the only ones who suffer, Kakashi," his voice was soft as he spoke, but his small eyes were piercing right at Kakashi's visible one, which immediately cringed in the usual smile.

Although he knew that it was a pointless attempt to hide his feelings from his four-legged friend, he was honestly happy to know how much Pakkun cared for him.

"Kakashi!", a sudden shout thundered through the air and he instantly turned around, trying to locate the person calling out for him.

"Shizune?!", the figure was standing too far away to be completely certain, but the black-haired, moderate-sized woman had a significant resemblance with the right hand of Tsunade. And she was one of the few Iryōnin, which remained with the search parties and kept on treating the wounded they had found on their rescue mission.

"Team two found someone," she continued to scream, no effort to close the distance between them. Which wasn't necessary, then as soon as Kakashi heard her words, he rushed with all what was left of his energy towards Shizune.

Team two, consisting of Konoha nins only, had an extra mission straight from the Hokage, they were supposed to find the enemy's head-quarter.

After Madara fell apart into pieces and Tobi being killed by Naruto's fist, no one knew where their camp was located. Or what, rather who was still imprisoned there.

Pakkun realized where Kakashi's thoughts were heading and he immediately jumped off to follow after him.

"They've sent a scout," she explained further as Kakashi stopped in front of here, "We can't say who it is, though," Shizune added quickly, not wanting to raise false hopes, she waited patiently till the information soaked in.

Kakashi only nodded, waiting for more, his heart was already beating faster than it should, jumping to every movement of Shizune's lips, stopping at every tone of her voice. He was already raising his hopes.

"The subject was badly poisoned, the team tried to extract most of it, but to stabilize the damaged body they need to get to the camp as soon as possible. They'll be there in 20 minutes."

"Alright, then let's head back," Pakkun was the first to respond, Shizune only nodded before she turned on her heels.

Kakashi didn't bother to speak out loud, he was too occupied with his own thoughts, dwelling on what he just heard.

"_The subject?"_ Even though it was just the correct clinical term, the phrasing wasn't to his liking.

* * *

_**Ohayou,**_

_**I started this before the Tobi reveal and that's why I'm completly leaving that part out - since it isn't that relevant. I'm really looking forward to this - I have at least 10 chapters planned and I hope u'll like it. **_

_**See ya ~ xJKxD**_


	2. Hope

Absolute silence prevailed over the short trip back to their camp. Not a single word escaped Kakashi's lips, forcing an uneasy atmosphere on the group of three, which neither the small dog nor the trained and mostly skilled medic ninja dared to disrupt, fearing the unimaginable consequences.

It wasn't any different when they have finally arrived at the base. Wordlessly, the silverhaired lent against the tent, which was used as a sickbay.

With his arms crossed, the head resting on one side and his eyes staring into the distance, he was waiting for the return of the the eagerly expected team number two.

"It's him," he whispered repeatedly, "It must be him."

He was never farther away from understanding the meaning behind the saying "Ignorance is bliss" than he was in this precise moment. He would do anything in his might to lighten the darkness he had been covered in for weeks. To get a glimpse of the knowledge he was lacking. Ignorance was rather killing him.

The small ball of fur, circling beneath his feet didn't help much to put his mind at peace, in fact the continuous touch of Pakkun's tail, slightly brushing his legs only made him more anxious.

"No one else should be located at their headquarters," he strengthened his reasoning with his logical thoughts, just like he used to do. He didn't know of any other way to believe in things, not if there was no rational conviction behind it to support these hopes.

Suddenly Pakkun's nose twitched and he immediacy raised his head.

"They're here," he shouted out louder than necessary and tried to let his nose scent the different, newly incoming smells.

The dog could always rely on his nose's ability to sort the various odours and thereby identify the people, but somehow it didn't work out this time.

He was distracted by another, awfully distasteful smell, which made him shrink back and if he would have been able to do so, he would have covered his poor sniffer.

It irritated him so much that he completely forgot about his friend, who was growing more impatient than he had ever seen him before.

"Is it...?", he blurted out, not knowing about the condition the dog was in.

"I'm sorry. I can't tell. The poison makes it impossible to sniff anything," Pakkun answered meekly, the itching grew worse with every step they came closer to them. An itching he couldn't reach and scratch by himself.

"Never mind," Kakashi responded quickly, but rather in need of persuading himself than to comfort his furry partner. Only a few more seconds and he would be able to see it with his very own eyes. Of course these moments did pass, after what seemed like an unbearable eternity to the restless captain.

A team of two white-clothed Iryōnin, supported by two Jonins of the intelligence division, one obviously a member of the Inuzuka clan, since he was accompanied by a middle-long, dark black dog and a former anbu, which Kakashi knew in person, were heading straight to their direction. A stretcher in their midst, carrying the "subject".

Neither Pakkun, nor Kakashi could spot who the person was, for he was covered in a white blanket.

"Probably to keep him warm," Pakkun mumbled, worrying about his silverhaired friend, who was on the verge of rage or despair. Probably both, if he would have to stay in the dark any longer.

But fate was cruel and forced him to hold on a little more, since the overextended Jounins didn't even take the time to look him in the eye, as they hurried into the tent.

Without asking the question which was stuck on his tongue like a bitter pill, he saw the team disappear right in front of him, the desired answer flew away and hid behind the piece of black cloth covering the entrance door.

The pug was scared, not only because he longed for the answer himself, but because he was afraid that it wouldn't take a lot more for Kakashi to actually lose his temper.

Even though they took their time, about half an hour, Kakashi managed to stay calm, by stepping from feet to feet, but not once leaving the place, too worried he could miss the moment when they would finally step out and tell him the burning hot piece of information that he was yearning for.

Explaining to him that the man was indeed lying there. Maybe even allowing him to visit him right away. Seeing him waking up and smile like he always did when they have met. And then he would tell him that he was fine and that his Senpai was an idiot for worrying about him in the first place.

His thoughts were shattered and he focused to stay concentrated on the here and now. Luckily, before his mind could travel any further, the dark curtain was lifted and the Inuzuka, the paint on his face now clearly visible, left the tent.

His face didn't reveal what he was about to report, if there was any emotion stuck on it, Kakashi would have probably guessed it was the pure annoyance for being the messenger to begin with.

"Kakashi-san, I have a message from Shizune-sama," his voice was calm and he got straight to the matter at hand.

"She said she is sorry but the survivor isn't Yamato," face still free from any petty sign of sentiment.

War hero or not, this was devastating. Kakashi had to use up all of the remaining strength resting in him to stay on his feet, to push away the tears which he had been holding up for so long already.

And moreover, he could explode in anger.

"Why is his damn face not wavering at all?", he cursed the man in front of him.

"Why isn't his voice faltering?", he wasn't sure what got him that worked up, but if it wasn't for the last bit of self control being needed to keep his feet on the ground, he would have buried his fist into this clinical face of his. Hitting him in order to push the words of sorry out of his awfully dry mouth.

But his body didn't move one bit, his hand wasn't strong enough to maintain a fist and while he was trying the best to hide his trembling he simply nodded quickly, not able to put his thoughts into the right words.

_"Was there even something like that – the right words? What could you say at a time like this? "_

Deep inside Kakashi knew that he wasn't mad at the Jonin, if their roles were different he would have done the exact same thing. His face would have been even straighter than his. His voice even rougher.

It was war after all. Who knows how many loved ones the Inzuka had lost? How can he care about someone he didn't know, if all the grief was needed for the people dear to him.

On the other hand, maybe it was better this way, perhaps the anger could drive away the pain, which was rapidly rising in his chest.

And why did he have to be the only one who wasn't allowed to lose it? There was no need anymore to remain one's composure. Now was the time to suffer, to mourn about what was lost and could never be returned.

While Kakashi stared blankly into the face, which he was still not completely reluctant to punch, Pakkun found a way to continue or rather end their conversation.

"Do you know who you've brought back?", he asked and the man, who was now slightly relieved and thereby answered shortly, "Anko-sama." - "Soka. That's where she has been all the time," Pakkun mumbled.

Hoping he could finally get back into the safety of the tent, the Inuzuka intensely watched the dog instead of Kakashi. "Is there something else?"

But before Pakkun could react, it was Kakashi who eventually got a hold of himself again, asking a question which was harder for him then he would have thought it could be.

"Will she be alright?" It was shaming to admit, but he didn't sincerely care much. Of course he honestly wanted her to survive, but if he were to chose then he would have wanted someone else recovering in this very bed.

"She'll make it. Shizune-sama injected her an antidote to get rid of the remnant poison," he stated, just as cold as seconds ago.

"Good," Kakashi whispered, before he disappeared soundly, leaving a gray puff of smoke behind.

He used the shinobi's unique form of transportation to head towards his resting place. His own tent was located further away from the rest of the regular unit's camp. The silverhaired needed some space for himself, a freedom, which couldn't be taken away from him, captain or not.

Furthermore he required a place, where he was free from the curious looks, the people surrounding him, the ones who wouldn't let his mind come to rest and think about what actually happened. How he actually felt.

Especially now, when it grew harder to hold up the masquerade he was trying to sustain all this time.

He wasn't the insightful, unworried, tough Copy Ninja the war forced him to be. For the sake of the people he had led, he had swallowed everything and hid it so deep inside himself that it wasn't far from eating him up alive. It didn't, till now.

Completely blaming the others, though, wasn't correct. He protected his own life by pushing everything aside. All these feelings which were stealing his will to fight, his will to survive.

Kakashi dealt with the same issue long time ago. A time where he was the last one to continue living on in this world, too. If he wasn't able to suppress those feelings, he would have died on the battlefield and with him probably some of his comrades, which he swore to protect.

Even though these lingering feelings clinging to death itself existed during the whole battle, he would have never forgiven himself for just given up on the others. Sacrificing someone for your own sake was something he would never allow to happen again, not if he was able to prevent it.

The problem was that he knew this method was useless. It still hurt no matter how hard you try to shield your heart from it.

The silverhaired didn't go straight into his tent, nor did he rest at the warm fireplace to heat himself up from the long and eventful day. He just stood there for a while. His head facing the clouds.

Pakkun suspected where his friend went and followed him silently. The little dog knew that there wasn't much sense in talking to him now, so he decided to lay down next to the ignited flames and keenly watched the different shades of red and yellow dance with each other in their dangerous and likewise magnificent play.

Jiraiya, Asuma, Sandaime, Sensei, Rin, Obito_._..the list wasn't even complete and yet it was enough to freeze Kakashi in his motion. No muscle twitched, his head rested leaning into the inevitably darker getting sky.

Soon the stars would illuminated the heaven, a view he had experienced so often when he was serving as an anbu.

As soon as the summer was hot enough to sleep under the bare sky, they would always chose to stay away from the hotels on their missions and while leaning back to back under the stars, they would protect each other from a chilly breeze, or an sudden enemy attack.

If it started to rain, Tenzou tended to use his unique ability to create shelter for the two of them. Even though he strained his body each and every single time using the Mokuton, which was consuming far more chakra then any different skill, he never complained.

And Kakashi knew exactly how exhausting it was for him, after all he shared a similar two-sided blade. His left eye.

Any unnatural ability, no matter how oneself managed to get it, is using up an immense amount of one's energy, only because the body wasn't used to it, since it wasn't born with it.

However, as long as Tenzou was with him he had never stood and froze in the rain.

And if the brownhaired could barely sleep, mostly haunted by nightmares, it was Kakashi who would share his blanket with him.

At first the captain was certain, that he had only taken care of him for the sake of the mission.

But soon he noticed that there was more to it. That this Kohai meant so much more to him.

It was a a feeling Kakashi thought was best to hide, he buried it somewhere deep inside is mind like he did all these year before, thinking it was his only possibility.

He wasn't completely sure, if he was just ashamed of Tenzou realizing his affection for him or if he was only afraid that it would influence his work and as a result put both of them into danger.

Kakashi wouldn't be able to handle another death of a person too close to him.

Suddenly the message sunk in, deep into every inch of his body, conquered his numb bones. It felt like the last gleam of hope was ripped out of his soul. As of now there was neither hope nor tomorrow.

His frozen body now moved on its own, his fist struck into the nearest tree. Damn and how he moved. Blood-drops flowed from the back of his hand, just like the tears from his left, his own eye.

In silence he stood there and cried out all of his fading hope. His left arm tightly gripped the tree's trunk in a desperate try to keep him upright. Useless. Kakashi's legs gave in causing him to sink down on his knees, face drawn to the ground the tears continued falling down.

Thus he wasn't aware of Pakkun's presence, who was carefully stepping forward, afraid a too sudden move could hurt his precious friend, or that the slightest touch could break him like fragile glass, he spoke calmly, yet harsh enough too make it sound convincing, "Hurting yourself won't solve anything. Yamato wouldn't what that either."

Kakashi shrink at the sound of his name. A sharp ache overcame him when he reflexively bit into his lips. His voice trembled because of all the dammed up emotions. The released pain was unbearable, purely overwhelmed by the sorrow, his ability to fully understand the situation was clouded.

"Why? Just why does it have to be him? It's not fair, " the more words he was able to form under the pressure of his aching throat, the more they became faint. He was only slowly calming down, the tears stopped, leaving an reminiscent heat behind on his cheeks. His voice was low and softer than before, but the pain was still present, "I'm done."

Slowly Kakashi's head leant forward, till he felt his forehead hitting the bark, his silver hair brushed against the familiar wood, a feeling which only worsened his grief.

"Have I been brought back from the dead only to watch more people die before me?", a bitter laugh escaped his lips and he forced his eyes shut, scared he would start to cry all over again if he would have to face reality.

He had tried frantically to give a meaning to these words his father left behind the day he obviously wasn't supposed to die. Searched for this "personal reason" he had to live on for. An answer was no where to be found, especially not any more.

Pakkun wasn't used to this kind of situation and he didn't know how to handle it at all. Never has he seen Kakashi being this devastated before. The small pug got anxious and was almost screaming at the silverhaired,

"Get a hold of yourself, Hatake Kakashi!"

It was no use. The ex-anbu captain didn't move a single inch, which only made Pakkun angrier.

"You're giving up? Just like that? The great Sharingan no Kakashi, a legend in the world of shinobi, feared by his enemies, celebrated by his allies, who has even outreached his famous father throws his live away?" - "I don't care, Pakkun," the silverhaired man's head finally spun around as he screamed at the desperate dog, knowing that it was the wrong thing to do, knowing he would only hurt the friend, who was only figuring out a way to help him, even though he must be grieving as much as he did. He just didn't, couldn't give a damn any longer.

"It doesn't matter how many lives I've saved or rather how many enemies I've killed. Even that I helped to stop this war isn't worth it, if he had to pay the price with his life!"

A part inside of him hated the words leaving his mouth, didn't want to treat his longtime friend so badly, but this part was too small, not strong enough to suppress the truth which was roaring within him, wanting to get out.

He closed his eyes and stood up from the uncomfortable position on his knees, but only to sit down on the cold earth and lean his back against the stable tree. One hand picked up some of the soil and he silently watched it slipping through his fingers, before his attention returned to his dog.

"Am I that wrong for wishing for him to be alive?", Kakashi's voice had softened and Pakkun's did so aswell, "Kakashi, You do remember his promise, don't you? Peoples life don't end when they die, it's when you lose the faith in them."

* * *

**_Ohayou,_**

**_Sorry for the late update ! I'm working on a new part-time job and I'm terribly busy with study and everything *sigh* I'll read through this chap once more and maybe correct some things so I'm sorry if it looks rushed to you :( but I rly wanted to finish since you've been waiting for so long already. Yeah tell me what you think and if you see any mistakes *cough* just tell me :P_**

**_See ya ~ xJKxD_**


	3. Remember Kakashi!

The silverhaired shinobi of course knew what his partner was aiming at. He was talking about an incident which took place on a day long bygone, but never forgotten. Neither the date nor the promise Kakashi had received back then. Both were burned deeply into his memory.

It was one of those days hot enough to rest under the bare heaven. June, 21, the beginning of summer was it, when his Kohai saved his life, although he was acting against their rules. Against Kakashi's command to be exact.

Moreover he knowingly ignored his direct order and acted on his own selfish behaviour.

As a matter of fact this was a very atypical trait for Tenzou, especially during his young anbu career. He wasn't the type to question authority.

Maybe he did not always agree on the way missions were being handled, but his disagreement would only lead into another serious consideration of the current plan, in which often his own different types of strategy would evoke from his young, but very strategic mind and show another path to succeed in the assignment.

But actually defying his Senpai was simply more than beyond dispute. The brownhaired's respect for this man had completely taken in his strong-willed heart in the blink of an eye. After all he was trained by Kakashi.

At this point though, there was something at stake which was either worth risking the trouble or it was much more frightening than what his Senpai could have done to him as soon as he would have found out. And Kakashi would always find out. Unluckily, the bargain lived up to both assumptions.

The captain's life. Definitely worth risking and surely loosing it, was a scarier thought than anything Tenzou could have imagined back then.

Kakashi's team had been assigned to an extremely dangerous retrieving-mission and successfully fulfilled it. But on their route back home the whole unit was being cowardly ambushed. It was thanks to their pure luck alone that all of them could escape alive. Some were wounded, but Kakashi's injuries were almost fatal.

Since Kakashi never depended on luck alone, he had to come up with a more dependable strategy. His wounds were rapidly loosing too much blood and he soon wouldn't be able to keep up with their pace.

It was certain that the pursuers would keep up and in the end capture them. As soon as his mind was set, knowing that there was no other way to save all of his comrades, he ordered his troop to retreat. Without him.

His plan was to hold the enemy back, so that everyone could make it safely home and deliver the desired object the mission was about.

The captain knew that his decision meant only one thing. His life in exchange for his squad, but he was willing to gladly accept that deal. Somewhere in his subconscious spread a relieving thought as he considered this honourable death as his own. In all honesty he had been struggling with these kind of feelings for quite a while and if it wasn't for a certain someone, he would have never understood that he was in the wrong. That death couldn't bring release to one's aching heart.

Since the other members of the team couldn't come up with another solution, they quietly obeyed his orders and left for the safety of Konoha.

Everyone saw no other chance back then and it wasn't that uncommon to sacrifice an anbu for the sake of the mission. But Tenzou proved them all wrong.

Instead of leaving himself, he sent a Moku Bunshin with them and before he returned to his, probably very surprised and furious captain, he prepared some more traps and false tracks to distract his followers using his unique Mokuton style.

Fear conquered him once he arrived at the place his Senpai and the others separated. The suffering overwhelmed Kakashi as he was already loosing consciousness due to his injuries. Immediately, well, as soon as his own shock was fading, he treated him with medicine and the last of his bandages.

Tenzou didn't rest another second and as soon as he finished the simple medical treatment, he carried Kakashi on his back, all the way back to Konoha. The Kohai didn't pause to sleep, nor did he rest to gather any more chakra since he feared that his amateur traps wouldn't hold them off long enough to let him.

The price he paid though, was more than Kakashi was able to handle. Both ended up in Konoha's hospital, according to his squad they had returned to search for them once they had completed their task. It was then when they realized that Tenzou tricked them by sending a doppelgänger.

Only thanks to Pakkun's help they were still able to rescue the two of them.

"The view was a dreadful one", was Hayate's first comment.

In the end they were caught by the enemies and while Tenzou was trying desperately to shield Kakashi's defenceless body, protect himself and on the same time striking down his pursuers, he managed to hardly stay alive.

Seeing his body kneeling down on earth, he fit the image of a dying samurai with the scratches, bruises and cuts all over him, one trembling hand still holding him up on the ground.

The sour aura of sweat mixed with the metal fragrances of blood stirred the air around him. He could taste the copper on his tongue. Spitting it out didn't help with the remaining flavour on his lips. It drove him mad since the taste didn't lessen, causing him to breath even more unsteadily.

Even without a vulnerable team-member, which he had sworn to protect, he shouldn't have made it out alive. Not after he wasn't able to sleep or eat for three days in a row.

The amount of hostile shinobi was too great, but he still managed to fight them off on his own and survived. The attackers didn't share the same faith. The eight shinobi of Kirigakure were all lying lifelessly in a small distance apart on the cold ground. Their bodies as cold as the dirty, blood-stained soil.

The silence, which consumed the small hospital room as soon as he asked for the brownhaired's condition, was awfully struck into his memories. He remembered himself smiling to ensure that he was alright and with the same smile he was playfully scolding Tenzou, for not being around him as soon as he woke up. He couldn't have known that his Kohai wasn't able to be with him.

It was again Hayate's responsibility to explain the reason for Tenzou's absence.

The brownhaired had carefully rested Kakashi's colder growing body against a comfortable tree and covered him with his own jacket. He didn't leave his side, moreover he was checking the blood-flow in the silverhaired's veins and his breathing by pressing his hand relentlessly onto his stomach.

His back was scattered with shruiken, his body at his limit, chakra almost completely drained. Tenzou sat right next to him and his other hand was pressing on a deep incision in his lower area. Pain must have already overwhelmed him, but he didn't give in into the carefree slumber.

He forced himself to watch over the both of them till help would arrive. Tenzou was already beyond his capability when they finally did. With his throat filled with his own blood he was hardly able to talk to the anbu's, always being interrupted by coughing up the red essential liquid.

But when the medics turned to him first, he was energetically shaking his head and pointed to his Senpai. He didn't let them take a look at him, not until Kakashi was safe. Finally, as they had given up to persuade him and took care of the silverhaired, he was able to let go. Steadily he felt into the soft grass, allowing himself to loose his consciousness.

Pakkun summed it up pretty easily, "He was keeping himself awake even after the fight he won miraculously, only to make sure that you'll survive, Kakashi. He's a tough boy."

When Kakashi discovered the truth, he has been resting in the safe bed of the hospital for almost 15 hours and should soon regain his health, his wounds not as bad as they would have been without the help of his Kohai.

Unfortunately, Tenzou wasn't that lucky. His operation has been going on for almost 14 hours and when Tsunade was changing with another medic after her six hours of shift, her face already told what none of the anbu's wanted to hear her say.

Soon afterwards the team left Kakashi on his own, giving him the time to fully recover, more from what he just had heard than from his injuries.

Truth be told, leaving that place felt like a release. Ever since Kakashi was informed, the room felt icy. They turned eerie silent, not knowing what to say and how to handle their tongue-tied captain.

Stepping out of that frozen hell was necessary. Everyone knew that Kakashi wasn't mad at them for leaving him behind, after all it was his order they have followed, but it was irresponsible to not recognize that the brownhaired wasn't among them, even though it was thanks to him that Kakashi was still breathing, recovering even.

Tsunade was the first to visit him, only minutes after the other anbus left. Kakashi's head tilted slightly to the side, examining who would dare to disturb him at a time like this, his jaw and fists were clenched together, trembling under the pressure the news brought him, but as soon as he saw her face, his own fell. Any sight of anger was gone, fear took its place. He didn't need to ask about his condition, his chance to survive, he could see it written all over her saddened grimace.

Three figures in a dark, blurry hospital room. Kakashi sat upright on his bed with Pakkun lying rolled up on the feet's end. Tsunade, barely three metres away slowly shook her blond head and spoke softly,

"His state is critical. We've taken care of most of the outer wounds, but we couldn't close the huge cut on his stomach yet, which caused huge damage on his inner organs. Furthermore was his lunge filled with blood. Even though we could bleed it out and thereby control his breathing, he has lost so much blood. I doubt he'll make it. I'm sorry Kakashi. The fact he made it back to Konoha is already a miracle itself. We'll carry on the operation for a few more hours, but if he won't change for the better, there won't be anything left we can do for him."

Back then, hearing this words a feeling upraised, one which clouded his mind entirely. It was pretty similar to the one he was experiencing right now. But at that time, it was only a short-lived feeling. It didn't last long enough to break him down. Not the way it was killing him now.

Tenzou's fate wasn't decided on that day, he was getting better, only a few minutes after Tsunade was telling Kakashi about his chances. He did not only stabilize, but he was getting completely healthy in only a few weeks after that incident.

The silverhaired won't ever forget how he rested for 35 hours next to his bed after the successful operation had ended. He wouldn't leave before seeing him waking up with his own eyes, not to eat or sleep. He didn't do it because he felt obligated to do so, he didn't intent to return a favour. Kakashi realized by then how much Tenzou meant to him.

Finally the brownhaired woke up, slightly irritated he saw his Senpai sitting on a chair by his side, his upper half was lying on the bed and his head hid in his cross-armed arms. He was sleeping soundly.

With a huge smile on his lips he gently spoke to him, "Ohayou Gozaimasu, Senpai," his mouth so close that his breath tickled against Kakashi's exposed ear.

But the man only blinked, his vision was still blurry and before he knew whose voice aroused him from his slumber, he was mesmerized by the brown almond-shaped eyes of his Kohai, staring directly into his. He was smiling like nothing had happened. As if it was common for him to hover between life and death each and every day.

Surely Kakashi was well aware of the fact that as an anbu every mission could indeed be their last one. Only a handful days ago he had accepted this faith for his own life, thus why does it bother him that much, that Tenzou wasn't concerned about it at all?

His soft, and still faint voice woke him from his worries, "I'm sorry to have worried you."

Tenzou tried to lift himself into a sitting position, but his hands gave in and he sunk back into his pillow. His stomach immediately pained him, causing him to press his one hand against it to ease the pain.

"And for being so useless," he continued ashamed, his head faced the other direction.

Kakashi stood up from his uncomfortable hospital chair and moved closer to his much too pale and feeble comrade. To hide his own happiness, he bluntly asked his protégée, "You know what you did, right?".

The younger nodded, his eyes now facing the white blanket covering his lower body. He wouldn't mind hiding completely beneath it.

"Hai, Senpai," he whispered merely.

"I should throw you out of my team," his voice sounded much colder than he intended to, causing the brownhaired's deep eyes to widen in shock. With gritted teeth he then slowly nodded once more, not knowing what he could possibly say for his defence.

The sight of the broken boy, whose body had to bear another scar because of Kakashi's fault, nearly shattered his heart into a million pieces and before he could deliberately think about it, he had placed his hand on Tenzou's head, caressing his brown hair gently.

The sudden touch surprised his Kohai and he glanced up right into Kakashi's eye, his face clearly showing his confusion.

Ignoring the even more growing insecurity in his Kohai's eyes, Kakashi's hand attentively continued to stroke his hair and gave him a smile, which was even visible through the fabric of his mask.

"Arigatou."

The touch ended, letting a feeling of loneliness taking its place, but the silverhaired didn't notice as he went straight for the door.

"Ehm..", Tenzou awkwardly coughed, he still didn't fully understand what was going on, but he knew for certain that he didn't want him to leave.

Fishing for words he wasn't able to do anything else than to clear his throat. It worked, for a second Kakashi stopped in his tracks and turned his head to face him.

He noticed Tenzou's cheeks keep growing redder as he tried shyly to end or rather start his sentence,

"Please..don't.. there is no need to thank me for that."

Kakashi tilted his head a little, curious of what would follow next.

"I'll promise to you. I'll always be at your side covering your back, Senpai!"

His smile was so honest it was able to conquer any heart, Kakashi could already feel the ice around his melting as he nodded silently, "I already know."

Without taking another look he left the room, giving his Kohai the needed rest for his injuries to heal. He couldn't remind himself of the exact thoughts which occupied his mind when he left the hospital, but he knew that he wanted to take care about that brownhaired boy, who saved his life without hesitation and didn't even wanted to be thanked afterwards.

* * *

_**Ohayou,**_

_**Sorry I'm soooo busy and sick all the time :( (I hate winter*sigh*) Seeya next chap ! :D**_

_**~xJKxD**_


	4. Homecoming

The little dog intensively studied his old partner and noticed the merely visible, but significant change in his uncovered eye, caused by the very memory of Yamato's promise.

Pakkun's voice was still forceful but kind as he continued to talk some sense into him,

"If you'll give yourself up now how should he be able to keep his promise to you?"

Kakashi seemed to have regained most of his composure at this point of Pakkun's meaningful speech. His eyes searched for Pakkun's as if he was trying to figure out how sincere his words were.

"I agree that it's not easy," his voice grew thinner, searching for the right way to express his thoughts, "but don't you think it's our turn to be strong this time?"

The strained dog was at his personal limit. If Kakashi still wasn't able to get out of his misery he wouldn't know what was left that he alone could do to help him. Pakkun was loosing his strength and patience to comfort him.

It wasn't easy for him either, the young brownhaired conquered his little heart in an mere instant and it didn't take Tenzou long to leave a good impression on him. Even more.

Pakkun was a picky dog and didn't accept just anyone. One of the reasons which often resulted into a fight between the two thick-headed partners.

But Tenzou was someone they appreciated both in almost no time at all.

It was painful for Pakkun, especially after seeing Kakashi's condition. He could have needed some sympathy aswell.

"You're right. I'm sorry. His corpse wasn't found yet, right? He can still be out there...," he mumbled, finally figuring out how egoistically he acted. Trying to cheer them both up, he forced a faint smile, but his voice sounded unbearable faked. Probably because he didn't believe one of the words which just left his lips.

He could feel the dog's piercing gaze focused on him and his smile quickly widened,

"Alive," he added softly.

Kakashi wasn't a bad liar and usually it was unnaturally easy for him to convince others for his sake, but this one simple word was the hardest and worst lie he ever had to tell.

"Let's get some rest then. Shall we?"

Pakkun was already heading into the direction of their tent when he yawned happily. His anxiousness was clearly lessened as soon as Kakashi had returned to his normal self. Or at least he had seemed to have returned to a state which seemed more capable of handling what was lying ahead for the both of them.

The silverhaired's head turned once more to face the already clouded dark sky, not allowing him to see any of the sparkling stars shining above him, which maybe, in this particular moment could lead Yamato to his way to safety.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes for a split second, before he skilfully put and end to the circling flames and shortly afterwards he followed his courageous ninken in eerie silent into the warmth of their tent.

Without the camp-fire it wouldn't take the cold night very long to make him freeze under the light blanket they have been using. Kakashi therefore barely undressed from his jounin-clothing and only put away the most disturbing parts, including his kunai bag, the heavy vest and his headband.

He was used to sleeping with it, but on the uncomfortable hard ground he didn't want to feel even more constrained. He placed it right next to the mattress and immediately closed his right eye.

Pakkun was already lying rolled up on a small chair, which had been properly prepared for him with a fluffy pillow resting on it. Already half a sleep he was eyeing his friend, probably to make sure that he wouldn't ran off into the night.

Kakashi was still wearing most of his gear when he sat down on the mattress and pulled the blanket up to his knees. Instead of lying down his grip on the soft cloth didn't lessen as if he waited for something else to occur. His left eye faced Pakkun, who promptly closed his ones.

"Come one," he smiled lightly and lifted the blanket up to make some room for the furry being.

"It's cold enough like this," he spoke slowly, a faint glimpse of sadness exposed in his voice.

He didn't need to invite Pakkun a second time, since he almost instantly jumped his way up to Kakashi and as soon as the man laid down on his side, one arm supporting his head the other still attached to the blanket, the small dog moved as close as possible, rubbing his back against Kakashi's stomach when he sat down into his sleeping position.

The silverhaired chuckled and pulled the blanket over his back, his now free arm caressing Pakkun's head.

No five minutes later he could hear the snoring noises from his furry friend. It was impressive. Dogs could really drift into their own dream-world in between minutes.

Slightly jealous of this incredible ability, he watched Pakkun's breast raising and falling with every breath of air. His fingers still monotonously circling around the dog's ears he slowly began to sink into his own sleep.

"Sorry, Pakkun," his voice was already breaking and a yawn interrupted his apology when his world turned black. He finally fell asleep after this exhausting day.

A better day, holding an answer to his tormenting question was all he was hoping for as soon as his consciousness was drifting away.

Abruptly his short-lived sleep was put to an end. Kakashi was awoken by the familiar voice of a furious woman, standing right in the entrance of his tent, throwing around the few belongings he was currently taking care of.

He turned onto his back and blinked a few times, the blazing rays of light enlightened his rather ill-lit camp, almost blinding him in his recently awaked state of mind. But nonetheless he could already figure out that her presence wasn't a coincidence.

According to the low position of the rising sun it was still early in the morning. Too early for the people of his search team to be up and moreover for waking him.

Soon Kakashi's eye adapted to the bright sunlight shining right on his face, but the uneasy feeling only grew worse after he finally took a glance at the figure in front of him.

He guessed right. It was Tsunade's sharp voice he had perceived before. Her tone wasn't that easy to adapt to.

"We're leaving, Kakashi," her voice cut through the air like steel, "All of the remaining corpses that we know of were retrieved."

Her voice didn't falter as she was practically telling the jounin, still drugged with sleep, to go home and forget about his dear friend.

Kakashi didn't move, his head staring onto the ceiling of his tent. Silence took over, only disrupted by the quiet noises of Pakkun sleeping.

He slowly closed his eye, imagining the best way to react, but almost a million thoughts were crushing his consciousness. Kakashi reached for his headband and with his skilful fingers he slid it over his eye carrying the sharingan. His long fingers rested there for a second.

Then, after he eventually decided which final thought he would listen too, he spoke up, his voice barely audible, "Soka."

In one move he was standing upright, one hand already gathering the stuff he was wearing yesterday, the other was carefully putting the blanket back over Pakkun's warm body.

He didn't want to wake him that early if it wasn't necessary, especially when he had to tell him about the unpleasant news.

While he was dressing up he bluntly asked into the direction of the tent's entrance, "Is there something else I can do for you?"

Kakashi was aware of the fact that Tsunade wouldn't just come here for simple chit-chat, especially not with him, but he couldn't hide the hurtful feelings in his words. He may have just decided to leave peacefully with her, but his emotions sadly didn't just vanish after his decision was made.

Her face softened and she sighed, her answer more truthful than he had expected, "I just wanted to make sure that you were coming with us. Konoha needs you Kakashi, more than ever." - "I see," he mumbled, his head now facing the next problem that was awaiting him.

Gently his hand caressed the dog's head to wake him from his deep slumber. A little reluctantly the small pug opened his eyes, eyeing the silverhaired with a hard stare. But his anger froze straight away as soon as he felt another presence in the room.

"_What's Tsunade doing her?" _One thought occupied the dog's mind.

"We're departing?!", and as soon as the question was out of his head it left a bitter taste on his tongue. Kakashi didn't manage to answer properly, which only supported the dog's uprising anger.

He nearly jumped at him. Clearly Pakkun was shocked, causing him to open his mouth before he was thinking about the words leaving it, "But what about Yama...-?!", he stopped mid-sentenced. Pakkun knew that he would have known for sure if there was any new information about Yamato's well-being.

He helplessly stared into Kakashi's direction, but he couldn't expect any help from him.

"We can't just...," he tried again, this time he was facing Tsunade, but under her penetrating eyes he didn't stand a chance. He averted his gaze and ground his teeth. There was nothing left to do. If Kakashi was obeying her order he had already faced and accepted reality.

"I understand," Pakkun's mutter was the last thing which was heard between the three of them as they were heading to the main camp.

Only a few hours after Kakashi's encounter with Tsunade, all the remaining shinobi's coming from Konoha were leaving for their home.

Here and there one could still see the leftovers of the fighting, of the dismantled tents, the trash they would leave behind would consist of metal cans, water bottles and moreover used bandages.

A small unit responsible to clean up that mess would stay for a few more days to hide the traces of the war. Kakashi was envious of these people.

His heart was shouting at him, telling him to remain there too. Actually he sort of did. The silverhaired man already knew that he had lost something precious on that battlefield, something that had kept him going forward for such a long time. That couldn't be replaced.

* * *

**_Ohayou,_**

**_Poor Tsunade I actually like her but she's being pretty mean here, doesn't she ^^_**

**_I love Pakkun btw - sometimes I wonder if I should write his own stories...xD_**

**_next chap already in progess! :D ~ xJKxD_**


	5. The day before the last goodbye

_War does not determine who is right, but who is left._

**Two weeks later**

Home. It sounded weird. It was more or less the same place, but calling it home didn't felt right any more. Packed with grocery bags the Hatake entered his so called haven.

The Hatake mansion was completely intact since Pein's attack didn't damage it at all. Not like the rest of Konoha which was still under construction after the massive destruction it had to face.

The rebuilding of the village was a slow process, especially since the war followed almost immediately afterwards and cost so many helpful lives.

Its location was indeed another advantages of his family residence. Instead of having to sleep in tents and other provisional emergency shelters, where most of Konoha's citizens were currently managing their life at, Kakashi could stay in his own comfortable bed.

On the other hand he had to face all the memories stuck inside these familiar walls which were surrounding him. Maybe it would have been less painful if it was shattered into million of pieces. Destroyed. Dead. Just like the person these memories belonged to.

Kakashi put away his sandals, heedlessly placed down the bags and headed to the living room. His glance wandered through the lifeless place. It hurt. He could still see the traces of his Kohai all around the house.

Since Tenzou's place was hit badly and after a lot of persuasion, or rather after Kakashi nearly forced him to, he moved into his place and instead of sleeping in one of these uncomfortable tents, he had been using his couch to rest.

His blanket was still lying neatly and untouched on the head end of the sofa and the few belongings he could rescue from the ruins of his apartment were placed orderly on the small wooden cabinet right next to it.

The stuff wasn't of high value, a few clothes, the usual shinobi utensils and a book about architecture. It had an all too familiar green cover, causing a small chuckle to escape from Kakashi's mouth at the very view.

„Of all things this book remained unscathed," he wondered with a smile growing on his face.

He remembered it exactly, after all it was he who gifted that book to him. At that time Tenzou was just a newcomer within the anbus and Kakashi figured a way to improve his unique skills.

Or rather he tried to find new ways to use his abilities even outside of combat situations.

Well, needless to say, he found one and together they have spent hours on training his Mokuton no Jutsu by recreating certain buildings from that particular book.

The work really paid out. Kakashi's team didn't have to spent any unnecessary nights under the bare sky and moreover they were praised for having almost no costs for hotels and other hostility services.

This was indeed one of his brightest ideas. Technically he wasn't even surprised that Tenzou had kept that book as a memento for all this years. It was just like him. His smile vanished.

„I'm not sure if I'm that strong. I don't think I'll keep it," he whispered faintly, before he put the book away.

Apart from the literature, he didn't recognize any of Tenzou's other things and soon the interest faded. His eyes rested on the inviting sofa, while his thoughts wandered off.

„It's been two weeks already."

As soon as Kakashi had arrived in Konoha, it was Pakkun who immediately set off to check on the other ninken's progress. They had split up to support each search party and after they were to end the official retrieval some of them stayed behind to keep on looking. Though he didn't expect much from it, after all they would have informed him already if their search turned out to be a success, the small dog just had to go.

He couldn't handle staying put and moreover he was still mad at his silverhaired partner for accepting what he wasn't able to simply accept. Despite everything he had tried to keep Kakashi's hopes up, he seemed to have failed.

His little heart ached at the thought of letting the brownhaired down. If he was still alive and he wasn't able to track him down, because he already stopped believing, he would never forgive himself. Same went for Kakashi.

Pakkun was enraged when he left, although he knew that it wasn't fair to treat him that badly, he wasn't able to keep his frustration from piercing through his surface. He was disappointed in his friend, and showed it to him openly.

The anger didn't last long though. After one week the small pug returned but only to underline the dark thoughts which where already dwelling inside of Kakashi's mind. Even the dog had to admit that the chances for Yamato's well-being were lowering with the coming of every new day.

In the meantime, every single shinobi had returned to their village and even Kakashi's ninkens headed home days ago. No one had strength left to actively search for him.

After all there was a whole village to rebuild. Not only the broken buildings had to be repaired, the people's hearts had to mend first, which was a painfully hard and longer process.

During the week that Pakkun used to chase after a clouded dream, Kakashi had been helping out in the Hokage's office. He and Iruka were in charge of selecting the next generation of genin teams.

The genins and their teachers aswell, since not every sensei did return from the war in one piece. Putting them together was the first step to regain the life people used to have in Konoha.

Iruka was delighted to see him and instantly flung his arms around his neck. It was such as sudden touch that he had to restrain his reflexes from pulling back.

This brownhaired was sincerely happy to see him, after Naruto who was already recovering in the hospital, Kakashi was the next person in line who meant an important deal to him and has returned safely from the war. Not everyone shared the same faith.

Kakashi had always known that Iruka had a thing for him and he did indeed think that Naruto's first sensei was a nice, caring person, but he never felt more than this for him.

And Iruka couldn't expect much more from him, than this one welcome hug which was already troubling the silverhaired to the extent that he nearly backed off.

The following four days were full of hard work and as soon as they have finished the new plans, Kakashi was ordered to deal with a similar situation.

This time it wasn't about the genin's but the anbu's new schedule. But Kakashi liked the work, it was nothing to complex, but challenging enough to keep his thoughts on track. He could distract his head with the work he was burdening himself with.

That was why he spent the last friday night in a dim-lit bureau in the Hokage's building, looking through the top-secret files of their anbu members.

He had already been through most of the files in front of him, when it suddenly hit him. The feeling was worse than a kunai slashing through his chest as he saw the almond-shaped brown eyes of his former Kohai staring at him from the paper in his hand. There he was. His personal form hadn't been sorted out yet, according to his file he was all ready to go and set out for his next mission.

Kakashi was no good for anything after that incident. As far as he remembered, he took the shortest way into the nearest bar and let the sake take care of him. By this point his mind went blank, not knowing if it was from all the alcohol intoxicating his body or because he was scared that Pakkun might have to therapy him again, as soon as he would arrive at his house.

The next day, awoken by terribly headaches, he found himself resting in his own four walls. Luckily he made it into his own bed, before he had passed out. Groaning due to the pain which pure sunlight seemed to cause him, he realized that alcohol wasn't a good solution to his problem. Merely an expensive tool to temporary suppress what was bothering him.

But to eliminate the grief that was haunting him, he was hardly able enough to hold his liquor nor did he have enough wage to pay for all the drinks which would be necessary to help him forget.

Once he closed the curtains, Kakashi carefully toddled into the bathroom to take a long, hot shower which would hopefully wash away yesterday's evening from his faint skin.

It was on his way to his closet, when he had already exited his window framed shower, that he noticed a slip of paper clued to his bedroom door. He tightened the towel which was wrapped around his waist and put away the one which he had used to dry his wet and ruffled silver hair, before he grabbed the note.

„checks' on me – I take care of the anbu teams, captain.

Genma."

Although Kakashi should have been worried for having forced an ex anbu team mate to take him home after he wasn't able to go by himself, because of this irresponsible night of drinking, he was deeply touched and proud to have worked with such wonderful, caring people. His team had been the best, not only because of their skills.

„Arigatou Genma," he whispers lightly, his breath brushing against the paper in his hand. Before he let out an exhausted sigh and continued to rub his hair while he fished for proper clothes.

After the „friday night incident" Tsunade didn't involve him with any further instructions, at first she had thought it would have been a good idea to distract him with work, but her intentions stabbed her or rather the heartbroken anbu in the back.

Kakashi of course realized that she was being considerate, but he didn't know if it was because of his latest fall from grace or if the hokage just wanted him to have some time to himself. To figure out what he was supposed to do next, how he would be able to pull himself together.

„Who am I thinking about?"

Certainly Tsunade has heard about his drinking bout and decided not to bother him with any other important tasks, which he would only screw up again in his current state.

„Maa..," the silverhaired sighed again and almost powerless he let himself slump onto the sofa.

His strong, long back was bent forward, arms rested on his knees and barely supported his head which was clued to the floor.

Tomorrow Konoha would gradually return to a daily routine. Most of the damaged buildings were renovated, shops would open up and even the school amongst other essential institutions would open his gates, reverting to the old life.

As of tomorrow even Naruto would be a free man. As a matter of fact the blonde-haired hero would be released from his long stay in the hospital, finally fully recovered. It won't take him too long to be obsessed about training again. And afterwards, missions would follow, like usual.

He knew that tomorrow would be the day, he could even pin point the exact time. At eleven o'clock the Hokage would honour every shinobi who fell in battle, a ceremony for the dead, which included Tenzou, would eventually herald the start of a new beginning. Candles would be lit and speeches would be hold. It will signalise that it will be okay to let the sadness fade away.

Kakashi didn't feel anywhere near good enough to accept even one of this proceedings. In his life normality hasn't returned yet, nor is he ready, whether physical nor psychical, to train, and following his train of thoughts only shows that missions would be totally out of the question.

He maybe didn't believe any longer that hope alone would bring back his friend, but he was far from accepting his death.

He raised his head and his eyes found his pocket bag lying on the bare floor. He reached out his hand to grab it and searched for the way to bright orange book inside of it. His fingers slid over the pages he had read so many times and he stopped at the pages which were holding his bookmark.

His eyes scanned the page and he murmured the written words of the novel, which would never be continued.

„Damn. Wrong Thought."

Upset he threw the book on the ground, pulled hard on the far too orderly arranged blanket and made himself comfortable on the small, familiar couch. He buried himself in the warm cotton sheet, which his Kohai used to sleep with.

His slender body turned around when suddenly a hard object pierced into his side, startled he immediately sit up straight, his hands searching for the, just in this instant, self-appointed enemy.

Finally his hands found what they had been looking for. He held an ancient-looking, brown book with an leathern binding in his fingers.

Kakashi was certain that he haven't seen this book before, neither at his, nor at Tenzou's place. And at Kakashi's place, a non-orange book would have probably stood out quite a lot.

What wondered him more, was the lack of any title or other text on the cover and back of this particular book.

Curious what was written inside, he leant against the backrest of his sofa and hastily opened the book.

* * *

_**Ohayou,**_

_**Wow ..took me a whole month to finish this chapter. I'm sorry I kind of lost motivation for a while, but I'll promise to work harder from today on again :D**_

_**~ xJKxD**_


	6. The diary

24. December

* * *

It's been two years since the day Minato-san freed me from the cage I've been imprisoned for so long. And even though the sandaime gave me a new place to live, under the care of the anbus, Minato-san and the sandaime, both, regularly pay me a visit. I'm really happy, but I don't know how to show my gratitude. And I don't understand why they are still coming to see me. Why are they so friendly? I can't seem to figure it out, no matter how hard I try to think about it.

I was only the result of a succssesful mission. A mission, that's at least how the anbu, who are currently ordered to take care of me, refer to me. I know I'm not normal. I don't have any parents, I can't even remember their names and if I'm all too honest I don't even know what my own name is.

Tenzou. That's what the snake-man called me and even the Hokage uses this name for me. But how am I supposed to know? I was still a newborn back then.

What's even worse are my creepy powers. I know they are one of the reasons why they put me under surveillance. But that's exactly why I don't get why they still have so much interest in me as a person.

At noon the eagle and the dove are here to check on my meals and homework or to make sure that I'm not going to bed too late, while during the day the ape and the snake help with my training and give me private lessons.

If I feel sick or can't sleep, what happens very often, they would fight over who should watch me. No one wants to stay longer at my side as necessary and in the end it's always the dove who would take the responsibility. I guess that's Orochimaru's fault.

Maybe they are scared that I'm dangerous or that protecting me puts them in the harm's way. However, it was clear to me that they weren't happy to be near me. Not like they were mean to me, but they aren't as friendly as Minato-san or Sarutobi-sama.

Today, for example, I got my very first Christmas gift from them. I was at the Hokage's place, like every week, to tell him about my training progress and of course about the nightmares, which were still coming almost every night. When Minato-san suddenly appeared out of nowhere. He smiled at me and said, „ How lucky, I made it in time."

I was confused, but then he took an object out of his bag and handed it to me. It was wrapped in green paper and looked pretty, as if he really had put his whole heart into wrapping it, or maybe Kushina helped him. Hehe.

„Merry Christmas," he wished me and the sandaime nodded friendly. It was a present from both of them. The sandaime urged me to open it and it was this book I'm writing in right now.

I was surprised, since when I opened it, all the pages were empty. I looked at them in confusion and they laughed.

When Minato-san finally spoke, his gentle hand ruffled my hair, „ I heard that the dreams haven't stopped yet," he nodded into Sarutobi-samas direction, before he continued to speak, „That's why we thought this book could help."

I still didn't know what to do with that book and the thought was written all over my face since Minato-san spoke up again, „It's a diary."

„A diary?" My puzzled look didn't vanish and the sandaime took all the time to explain it properly to me. He always takes up a lot of time when it comes to me.

„If you feel like it, you can write down everything what happens during the day, or if you remember, in your dreams. Sometimes it's easier to let go of things if you free them from your mind by capturing them on paper."

I'm still unsure what I should write, but since no one else will ever read my words, I guess it doesn't matter much and trying won't hurt.

29. December

* * *

This is the second entry, but that doesn't mean the nightmares have stopped. They still come on a daily basis. I just can't remember them that well. The only thing which always sticks to my mind, and continue to scare me as soon as I wake up, are these inhuman, ugly, yellow eyes I see before me.

Some other fragments are still there, so close that I feel like I can touch them, but as soon as I reach out my hands, they would drift further away. It's disturbing me, since I feel like my own memory doesn't belong to me, but not remembering the things I've been used for is probably more of a blessing than I can imagine.

One more thing I see as soon as I close my eyes, proves me right.

I was tied up on a table and this silverhaired man bent over me. He was so close his strands of hairs touched my chin. It was awfully hot and my legs and arms hurt terribly. There was a painful spike in my belly and I cried till my tears dried out. A fading voice and the grimace directed at the yellow-eyed was the last thing I have heard and seen before my eyes turned black and I awoke.

„He seems to be the one, he doesn't have any rejection reaction to the dose."

That was all. I woke up, bathed in sweat. I wanted to scream, cry, but I know that no one would come to comfort me. And instead of telling the anbus, who doesn't care in the first place, I try to write down my thoughts here. Like Minato-san told me. I still don't understand how it will help me getting over my dreams, but the Hokage and Minato-san were right. It has something consoling.

30. December

* * *

Sarutobi-sama visited me today after my training with the ape. We drank some tee and he wanted me to explain him what happened today during my lesson. He didn't sound worried, but I felt that he was nervous. Since the ape abruptly ended the training session and rushed right away to the Hokage's tower, I knew that something was off.

They all, the anbus, Minato-san, the sandaime knew from my special ability, the Mokuton no Jutsu, which only the first Hokage, Hashirama had been able to use in the past. So it was hard to understand why they were all so concerned now, after all, this was the main reason why I was being raised by anbus.

Anyway I stood up, trying to hide that I was feeling very down by their doubts and showed Sarutobi-sama what shocked the ape that much.

„Apart from my skill to manipulate the wood element, we trained the simple form of manipulating chakra," I told him," Like going on water, running on tress and so on. It was nothing to me. A few tries and I was able to do everything the ape wanted me to."

I shrugged. It was nothing special to me. But the ape was getting furious, I was too good, he said and made me do even more stuff. I guess he was just pissed, but of course I didn't tell the sandaime!

„The ape wasn't satisfied yet and gave me a task which should have been impossible for a six year old to do. Well...it wasn't for me," I said.

„He gave me a paper to define my chakra element, but I told him that I already knew."

I averted my eyes, since I did that without asking for permission, but Sarutobi-sama didn't mention it.

„I read about it in a book..." - Not like I'm doing much apart from reading books and training - „...and Minato-san helped me to get one of those papers."

Even though I was certain that the sandaime would believe me no matter what, I took the paper out of my bag and showed it to him.

„Well, I told the ape that my elements are water and earth."

The ape laughed at these words and called me an idiot, but Sarutobi-sama remained silent. That's properly why he is the Hokage. He really is calm and nice. However ape told me it would be impossible, since there can only be one main element, but I proved him wrong.

„H-he didn't believe me and I offered to prove it."

I sent a small amount of chakra into my paper and the elements began to show. First it became wet and soon afterwards it crumbled into pieces.

I waited for the Hokage's reaction, scared he would run away like the ape did.

But he just sat there quietly, maybe he thought about if he should really tell me about the following.

„I See. You know, boy. It's really rare that a shinobi possesses two different elements inside his body. But it's not that surprising for you to be one of the few exceptions, since your Mokuton is a Kekkei Genkai, which combines water and earth. That's probably why you were able to inherit it in the first place."

I knew what the Hokage was aiming at and interrupted him, my voice nearly broke.

„That's why Orochimaru picked me, ne?"

It wasn't a real question but the sandaime nodded none the less and stood up, ready to leave. He sighed happily and shook his head „But I don't understand why the ape came to me just to tell me that."

I felt a little bit guilty, since that wasn't exactly everything and coughed slightly.

„Ano...You know. When the ape didn't believe me, I was hurt and...actually I showed him to prove him wrong."

As if the sandaime already thought that I had withheld the whole story, he smiled gently at me. He didn't press me any further, but now I wanted him to see with his own eyes.

I left the terrace we've been sitting on and went into the wide garden, a few hand-signs later I raised the earth beneath me into a three metre high wall. Quickly I formed another combination for the Suiton no Jutsu and a small waterfall began to flow down the earthen wall.

I was sure even Sarutobi-sama didn't expect this and I was right. His face showed his surprise, but to my own surprise, he wasn't shocked at all. And a few moments later he clapped his hands in excitement and started to laugh joyfully.

„Incredible, you really are a talented shinobi, Tenzou. At the age of six being able to control both your inner elements without any help. Wonderful," he praised me. It made me very happy.

I immediately noticed that my cheeks began to turn red, I always blush so easily!

I absolutely hate that about me!

But the sandaime just came closer, his voice full of pride, „I feel relieved that you're finally back at home. Even if the Mokuton isn't yours by blood, the achievement from now is something you accomplished on your own and no one's gonna take that from you."

I am so happy. "Home," did the Hokage say. The first time I'm lying full of joy in my bed and can't wait to see the next day.

7. January

* * *

Today I had a special training with the dove. Normally the anbu training isn't new to me, since I've been trained by them for two years already, but from now on I have to train the two elements separately. And dove was responsible for my extra lessons.

Furthermore I was told to participate in the exams for the genin rank. Sarutobi-sama wants me to do that, and I don't want to disappoint him. That's why I train every day – both the practical and the written part. I think I sleep much better when I'm working hard, that's why I like doing it.

Even the written exams, although the ape is only satisfied when I have answered every test without a single wrong answer. Only 100% correctness is acceptable.

He is mad at me. But whatever, mostly the questions were only about how to throw a kunai to hit position A or you have to calculate distances and other easy stuff. Nothing that hard.

What's really fun is to decipher codes. I always build whole new words just by replacing the letters. Like

Tomina

Ibutsaro

Zentou

It's funny. And so I studied almost 50 exams, the last 35 without a false question.

But the training with the dove is cruel. So exhausting. Kunais, shruiken, combat and especially chakra manipulation, everything had to be perfect.

At first she told me, that she would only end an exercise as soon as I hit her at least once. But I didn't managed to do so and trained till my legs wouldn't carry me any longer.

I barely improved the first days and when the sun would set I felt so exhausted, that I hardly managed to get into my bed. But I didn't complain, after all I didn't want to cause any more trouble to Minato-san or the sandaime.

My muscles became sore and my whole body stiffened...today a week has already passed, and I hate to admit it, but I feel myself improving a lot. I even hit the dove several times this time.

9. January

* * *

I'm lying in bed, thinking about tomorrow, when the test will finally take place. Minato-san visited me after my training today. He explained to me why it was that important for me to join the competition.

Of course I already knew, that my unique skills should one day be of great benefit to the village. That's why Sarutobi-sama wants me to train and join the anbu later on.

I don't need them to tell me, I can see the hope spread all over their faces and I don't want to disappoint them. And it's not like I have anything else planned with my life...

Afterwards Minato-san told me about his Kohai and how he passed the exams without a slight hint of a problem. He loved telling me stories about him, he always looks so proud talking like that. It makes me want to give my best, too!

So much that it didn't matter to me that Minato-san wasn't really my Senpai.

I still want him to be proud of me.

10. January

* * *

I passed and now I'm officially a genin. The written part was, as expected, easy as pie and I reached the 100% I was aiming for.

What troubled me more was the practical part. Not because it was very hard, but rather unpleasant. It was the first time for me to visit the academy, where all the other candidates had studied so far.

Minato-san was by my side, telling the sensei about me and introducing me to all the others. He warned me again, like the sandaime had before, that I shouldn't use my Mokuton. For my own safety, they said. I still don't know precisely what they meant, but it has probably still something to do with the Orochimaru guy.

What was more frightening than the whole test was my lack of knowledge of what to say in front of the twenty unknown faces, which were staring at me in confusion, since they haven't seen me before in the village, let alone in their academy.

„Ohayou. I am Tenzou. Nice to meet you all," I greeted them and very occasionally I heard an „Ohayou," greeting me back.

I hoped that the interest in me wasn't that high, since we were in the middle of an important test, but then a darker-skinned boy, with a brown pony-tail and a scar on his nose, around my age, suddenly decided to shatter my hopes.

He screamed into the sensei's direction, „ Aoba-Sensei, Why can someone who hasn't been to the academy even once just come here and take part in our exam? That doesn't seem fair at all!"

As if the boy just set off an avalanche, all the other participants joined in and suddenly everyone was complaining about me.

Back then I wished Sarutobi-sama would have never sent me to this stupid test.

Minato-san look at me encouragingly and promised that they aren't really mad at me, but only jealous, because I didn't have to visit the academy for all this time.

I didn't quite understand their problem, though. I thought being in the academy, with others around your age was far better than being trained by anbus all these past years. If I could I would have switched placed immediately.

I rather kept that to myself, though. After a while the sensei calmed down his raging pupils and eventually gave me a place to seat. Of course, of all the people who could have been sitting next to me, it had to be the brownhaired boy causing all the trouble in the first place. Sometimes I really do wonder if all grown-ups have a short lived memory.

Another thing I didn't say out loud. I silently sat next to the boy, who was called Iruka, at least that's how the sensei named him in his several attempts to shut him down.

„How old are you?," a purple-haired girl, sitting behind me, asked as soon as I slumped down on the chair.

„Six," I answered sheepishly, and the boy next to me finally grinned, „ Me too!", he said happily. Not knowing how to react I smiled back polity. But my smile vanished as soon as I heard a few whispers in the back of the row.

„Tsk – embarrassing, how low has Konoha fallen when we already allow these babies to become genins."

Before I had the chance to get upset, a hand was placed softly on my shoulder and Minato-san stood beside me, whispering in my ear, „At the practical part, no elemental based Jutsus, understood?"

I nodded, it was clear that by forming the elements I would only get unwanted attention, since, how the sandaime told me, it obviously wasn't a normal thing to do for a six year old.

Minato-san chuckled satisfied and disappeared with his Hiraishin no Jutsu, to not further disturb Aoba-Sensei, who was already waiting impatiently to finally begin the exam.

As soon as Minato-san was gone and only a dust of wind remained, he cleared his throat and spoke up.

„Well, let the exam begin then."

While the teacher spread the papers in his hands, he explained the rules of this test. One hour was all we got to finish our sheets.

I was already finished after 20 minutes and stared solemnly out of the window to my left, unsure if I should already hand over my test or if I should just stay put and wait for the others to finish.

I decided for the latter and glanced around the room, mustering the pupils around me. Some were hectically writing down what was stuck in their head, others were biting into their pencils, not knowing what to do, the purple-haired girl was resting her forehead on her desk, lost in thoughts.

All in all they were concentrated and far from finishing.

All except for Iruka-kun. No five minutes after I had stopped writing, he laid down his pen and read through his sheet one last time. Then he smiled confidently and turned to me, whispering so only I could hear him,

„You want to hand it over together and go breath some fresh air?"

I nodded, happily that he was doing the first step, grabbed my paper and stood up, following after Iruka-kun.

After Aoba-Sensei strongly advised us to be quiet and to keep our solutions to ourselves we were allowed to leave the room. Iruka-kun was searching his pocket while we went down the hall and a bentobox showed up in his hands. As it opened, though, there were only sweets inside.

„You want some?" the brownhaired asked, already handing the box to me.

I love sweets and while thanking him, I picked up one chocolate coated Pocky stick from his bento, which almost instantly dissolved into my mouth. He laughed and we went a little further, till we found ourselves sitting on a wooden bank in the courtyard of the school.

While we enjoyed the sun shining on us, the brownhaired suddenly apologized to me. Minato-san was right, again.

„Well, Tenzou...," Iruka-kun turned to me, his eyes were sparkling out of interest. I knew he would want to know more about me, where I came from, why I was being treated that „special". But his question surprised me.

„What did the blonde shinobi mean when he forbid you to use elemental-based jutsus?"

„..." I was dumbfounded. I didn't expect that kind of question and couldn't think of an answer quickly enough.

„Can you already form elements?", he asked full of excitement.

„Nah. Not really," was the only thought my brain seemed to be able to form. I must have sounded either extremely stupid or arrogant, since he didn't ask any further and the rest of the, still 30 minutes, we sat there in an eerie, uncomfortable silence.

The practical exam did the rest. While a pretty funny looking genin, with spiky black hair and a white bandage covering his face, gathered the exam papers and brought them to a corrector, another examiner, responsible for the second part introduced himself. He said he was „Sensei Ebisu,"...Yes, he called himself sensei...However.

At first the „Henge no Jutsu" was being tested. I was the last to perform and no one before me had failed yet.

Uma, Inu, I, U, Hitsuji – fast and orderly I formed the gestures and turned into Aoba-Sensei's duplicate. Both senseis' approved of my jutsu and I turned back to normal.

The next one was the "Bunshin no Jutsu." I thought about using my very own bunshin, since I was capable of the "Moku Bunshin no Jutsu", creating a wood bunshin by using my Kekkei Genkai, but Minato-san words echoed in my head.

Since I was the last at the first jutsu performance, I was urged to be the first doing it this time. But I didn't know how many bunshins I had to create, since Ebisu-Sensei didn't express an explicit number, quite the opposite to my anbu trainers.

And since I couldn't watch anyone before me and I didn't want to bother the senseis' with such a question, I hestitated for a moment. A long moment. The kids already started to complain and shouted at the top of their lungs that I should hurry up.

I sighed, still unsure I decided for ten doppelganger.

Hitsuji, Mi, Ne, Ushi, Tora - Silence. That was the first reaction I noticed, before I could feel the worried stares at my back. Even Ebisu-Sensei seemed to look surprised. Aoba-Sensei only nodded, he had probably already been informed by Minato-san, and called for the next candidate.

„Next!"

But the pupils were frozen in silent. Aoba-Sensei shouted once more and finally someone stepped forward, disturbing the silence.

I scratched my head awkwardly, when Iruka-kun headed straight for me, „Wow that was so cool"!„ - „You think so?"

I didn't feel cool at all... „Sure! So many bunshins!", he nodded heavily and clapped me on the shoulder. „I only hope I don't have to fight you later!"

I smiled self-consciously and thanked him for his kind words. A few girls gossiped secretly behind our backs and as soon as I turned in their direction, they lowered their glances and chuckled nervously.

Again I didn't know what that was supposed to mean, only that it made most of the boys look at me furiously. One was staring at me in an even creepier way than the others. A rather pale boy with black hair. He was wearing a blue shirt, featuring a clan symbol on his back. I wasn't completely sure, since I have only read about them in books, but It looked like the one of the uchiha's.

I sighed. Hopefully this would be over soon.

„The girls are embarrassed to tell you, but they think that was really cool just now," as if the purple-haired girl could read my mind.

„Hmm," I just stood there in silent, I didn't even know her name so thanking her for saying something like that was a rather stupid thing to do.

„Mitarashi, Anko," suddenly echoed through the place and the purple-haired head turned into his direction.

„Good Luck, Anko-chan," I called after her, finally knowing her name without having to ask her directly. Iruka-kun and I remained behind.

„The guy staring at you is an uchiha, don't sweat it, he's always like that," Iruka-kun pointed to the black-haired guy and shrugged his shoulders. „But I wouldn't want to fight against him, either," he whispered, quickly adding it to his description.

At this point I didn't knew what Iruka-kun meant with „fighting against", but as soon as the practical part neared its end, I realized it quickly enough.

After everyone finished their two jutsus, I understood why my bunshins had drawn that much attention. So far only the expressionless uchiha, Anko-chan, Iruka-kun and I could create more than two bunshins. I seemed to have exaggerated a little bit.

Ebisu-Sensei explained the final text. A training fight. The genin candidates should fight one on one against each other. The rules were pretty clear.

-No one should get hurt.

-You win by forcing your enemy out of the marked area.

-After five minutes the fight was over.

-Every jutsu was allowed.

It was only too obvious that winning wasn't main goal, but that it was important how skilled you present yourself.

Who had to fight against whom, would be plain coincidence. Aoba-Sensei was responsible for drawing the pairs. Loud lamentation was heard all over the place. Some pupils felt already treated unfairly without even knowing who they would have to fight.

Actually I couldn't care less about my sparring partner. I just didn't want it to be Anko-chan nor Iruka-kun. Not because I was afraid of loosing, but because I kind of started to like being around them.

Everyone had to write their name on a piece of paper and throw it into Aoba- Sensei's pocket. The first of the alphabet should draw his enemy and be the one to fight first.

Since I'm not officially on the list, I was the last one to fight. I wouldn't even draw my enemy on my own.

Suddenly I realized something I had already noticed during the written exam.

„Ano," I asked quietly, „We are 21, which makes ten teams, who is going to be the 22th?"

Aoba-Sensei gave me a friendly smile, before he answered my question,

„Don't worry, we have a volunteer, who tends to help out once in a while. His name is already in the bag. Sadly he has the well-known habit to be late sometimes."-"I see."

Iruka-kun, standing next to me whispered directly into my ear, "I think I know who he's talking about."

I looked at him curiously and he told me about a straight-A-student, who had already been a genin at the age of five and became a chuunin only one year later.

He was said to be an absolute genius of his generation. Anko-chan, who had returned to us after finishing her Henge no Jutsu, barged in, „He is reputed to be watching almost every genin and chuunin selection procedure," after a short break, she sighed, "Another one I'm not fond of fighting against."

I laughed out loud and pointed to Iruka-kun, „Hey, Anko-chan stole your line."

Iruka only nodded, „Don't blame her, though. She's right. Sensei told me that he strives to become an anbu captain and is already on the hunt for suitable members for his team."

Anbu captain? Interesting. Iruka-kun was pretty excited about this guy.

„I hope he watches me fight!", he chuckled happily.

I wonder who would want to become an anbu captain of his own free will. But before I could ponder more about the mysterious shinobi, the first pupil draw his partner.

He seemed relieved and while the two of them moved to the fighting area, Iruka-kun, Anko-chan and I had looked for a good place to watch over the fights. We sat directly above the marked area on the roof of the academy and watched the competitors, analyzing their abilities, tricks and every moves.

After four rounds I wasn't that energetic about watching the fights any more. There was nothing which surprised me. Only one, of the Inuzaka Clan, woke my interest, since he had a small dog by his side and was using weird Ninjutsu's. He won the fight quickly.

Right after him, Anko-chan was the next in line. Full of energy she jumped down the roof and headed to Aoba-Sensei.

„Good Luck," Iruka-kun screamed after her and we both waited impatiently for her enemy to be drawn. The purple-haired screamed in joy and was being scolded for it immediately afterwards. Iruka-kun only laughed and I had to agree that Anko-chan was indeed a funny sight.

The girl who had to fight her really wasn't anything special. Anko-chan only needed one simple minute to defeat her. Neatly she confused the girl with a few shurikens to get closer without her noticing and finally she got her to stumble and nearly fall to the ground by a stroke to her side. Before she let her touch the earth, Anko-chan placed an accurate kick to make her fall out of the marked area.

Her face shining in happiness, she came back to us, and all three of us waited for the next fight to begin. There I noticed the appearance of a new, strong chakra-signature and a masked person sitting on a nearby tree caught my eye. I tapped Iruka-kun's shoulder. He turned his head into the same direction and his face lit up just like Anko's. „It's him," he breathed.

My eyes rested on the person and my breath got stuck for a moment. Silver hair. I panicked. My breathing was faltering and my hands started to shake openly. I shook my head, closed my eyes and tried to calm myself.

„He's a shinobi of the hidden leave. There are many people with silver hair," I told myself, even though that probably wasn't the case. However, he was undoubtedly way to young, to be the one haunting me in my nightmares.

The heart of mine still didn't fully accept my last, reassuring thought and throbbed faster than normal, I could hear its beat ringing in my ears and it wouldn't stop, not until Iruka's name was being called out loud by Ebisu-Sensei.

The brownhaired gave me a desperate look and I was able to calm down. I looked up and knew why he suddenly became depressive. His enemy was the unfriendly uchiha from before.

Not really thinking about it, I clapped my hands on his shoulder, like Sarutobi-sama or Minato-san used to do it with me, and he headed, his eyes clued to the ground, to the fighting place.

The uchiha didn't let any emotion slip. I now fully concentrated on Iruka-kun and his fight. I didn't know why, but I really wanted the ponytail to win. Like Anko-chan he was very nice.

One glance to the chuunin watching us, I noticed, that he aswell, was very interested in this fight, inspection both candidates carefully.

The uchiha didn't hesitate to fight in close combat and immediately attacked Iruka-kun hand-to-hand. He defended himself brilliantly, but since he wasn't able to do anything else except for waiting on a chance to counter attack, it didn't look good for him.

And this chance didn't show up, either. The blackhaired didn't gave in and eventually hit Iruka-kun's shoulder. Plop. Instead of Iruka-kun hitting the ground, it was only a piece of wood in his place. I was impressed, I haven't noticed him using the finger signs for the Kawarimi no Jutsu.

But the uchiha wasn't as amazed as I was and quickly looked for the enemy in his surroundings. There, a kunai was already flying in his direction and if it weren't for his quick reflexes he would have been hit. But Iruka's fight didn't end there. He had used a doppelganger to throw the kunai, a tactic to distract the uchiha, while Iruka-kun himself would attack from the opposite direction, making use of his blind spot.

His enemy fell for the trap, as he moved quickly to the bunshin hiding in the tree, Iruka-kun used his chance and attacked him from behind. I was really surprised at Iruka's fighting skills. He wasn't only smart on paper, but on the battlefield, too. Now I felt like I wouldn't want to fight him.

This fight was more amazing than the ones before. And the chuunin shared my opinion, since he couldn't take his eyes off of them. I chuckled lightly. It was Iruka-kun's wish to show him what he got, wasn't it?

Upset, the uchiha held his left arm, where Iruka-kun's kick had hit him. Anko-chan cheered full-throatedly for Iruka-kun and I found myself smiling, when I suddenly noticed a huge amount of chakra building up.

I couldn't figure out what the uchiha was up to, but I didn't like one bit of it. Unable to stop my brain from working sharpishly, I soon remembered what I read about the uchiha's natural predisposition. Katon. Damned. I jumped up, knowing, that both Senseis' were out of Iruka-kun's reach and wouldn't be able to protect him in time, I shouted at him, telling him to search for cover.

Iruka-kun didn't move, he was analyzing the finger signs of his enemy, which were formed within seconds now.

Mi, Hitsuhi,... - No doubt, I cursed – Saru, I – Without thinking about Minato-san's words, I concentrated the chakra in the palm of my right hand and formed the signs of my own Suiton.

I, Inu,...Uma, Tora...The uchiha's hand moved towards his mouth...Iruka still wasn't able to figure out what he was doing and his head turned from side to side searching for a place to hide, where there was none...Hitsuji-...the uchiha succeeded to form the Gōkakyū no Jutsu...leaving a stunned Iruka-kun behind, when suddenly the silverhaired jumped from his tree, right in front of him, ready to defend the brownhaired from the fire ball, risking his own body.

I saw his eyes widen, as I flow over their heads, my Hahonryū Jutsu readied in my palm. A huge, circle-round, raging stream of water was dropping down on the smaller Katon based jutsu of the uchiha.

I hit the ground, my knees suddenly gave in and I had to take one step backwards, as the water, which immediately neutralized the fire ball, poured down as rain onto our heads.

I had used up too much chakra. My breath was heavy, but the uchiha looked worse than me. He was lying on the grass, a few meters away from us and coughed up the water which was stuck in his lung.

I immediately turned my head to Iruka-kun, "Are you okay?"

The brownhaired was trembling all over his body, his eyes widen in shock as he met my gaze. He tried to nod, but I know he was too scared. It hurt me, but I couldn't blame him. Even anbus were scared of me, I knew this would happen sooner or later. I finally understood what the sandaime meant when he said, "It's for my own good." I bit my lips and my head faced the ground.

Aoba-Sensei arrived only seconds later, checking on the still shaking Iruka-kun, while Ebisu-Sensei treated the slightly injured uchiha. Anko-chan appeared right next to me and Aoba-Sensei asked her to accompany Iruka-kun back inside the building.

She smiled comfortingly at him and waited till he was able to move on his own, before both of them disappeared, without even giving me so much as a glance. I knew she was scared of me, too.

"Gomez," I bowed down deeply and apologized in front of Aoba-Sensei. I only wanted to protect him, since I knew that he wasn't able to use any elemental-based jutsus to neutralize the Katon, but I only ended up hurting people. The uchiha...Anko-chan...Iruka-kun...

"Don't worry, he's fine," answered Ebisu-Sensei, who had already brought the uchiha into the building, to my silent request.

Aoba-Sensei ignored me completely and asked his colleague if they should simply continue as planned. Ebisu-Sensei nodded, but his glance stayed on me.

"But I'm doubting anyone would want to fight him, now."

I felt terrible and my head faced the mud-like earth again.

"I'll do it," the voice was low, but had a soothing sound to it. I looked up and the chuunin gave me a smile, at least that's what I thought it was. He was wearing a mask hiding half of his face, so it was rather hard to figure out his facial expressions.

"Sorry, but this fight has to wait, Kakashi." - "Senpai?"

Minato-san had suddenly appeared right before our eyes. His Hirashain no Jutsu is really amazing. But the silverhaired only had one thought, since Minato seemed to have appeared right NEXT to HIM.

"Did you tap me with your jutsu?!," Kakashi suddenly shouted at his Senpai, showing a completely different side of him, which I had never expected from his calm and serene aura.

"Not now," Minato said firmly, his eyes showed no anger, but real concern, which made Kakashi shut up immediately.

Minato-san turned to Aoba-Sensei, "I'm sorry for the disturbance, but I need Kakashi for a mission."

A mission? And didn't this "Kakashi" call Minato-san his Senpai just a second ago? Suddenly the puzzle pieces fit together perfectly. He's the precious Kohai, Minato-san is so proud of.

I bit onto my lower lip and stared at the silverhaired. I couldn't suppress my feeling of jealously.

Of course. How could I be that slow. Minato-san said he's a genius, who became genin in no time.

"Well, what about him now?," Aoba-Sensei didn't even look at me as he wondered about my situation. It felt really awful...after all I was standing right in front of him. It's not like I couldn't hear their words.

Since Minato-san wasn't here for me, which at first made me feel a little relieved, he didn't know what Aoba-Sensei was talking about. He looked at me curiously, but I didn't have the courage to tell him about the recent incident.

Unfortunately, it was Kakashi who told him, in a rather uncommon way.

"Senpai! His Suiton is far better than my Raiton. I'm sure he could even join and win the chuunin exam this year! How weird he's not even genin yet?!"

Minato-san raised his eye-brow, "Suiton?"

Great...

"I am sorry, Minato-san. Even though you told me I musn't use my elemental-based jutsus I did in order to protect Iruka-kun," but before I had finished my sentence I realized my horrible mistake. Plural...damn...Of course this Kakashi had to notice it, too.

"Jutsus?", he raised is voice and stared at Minato-san, since he had already figured out that we had at least some kind of connection.

Minato-san sighed and patted the back of his head, ruffling his blonde hair, before he suddenly laughed out loud, "I kind of knew this would happen."

His hand landed on my head and he energetically stroke it.

"Aoba. Ebisu. I appreciate your help, but if you don't mind I'll take this little one with me. You agree with Kakashi that announcing him a genin shouldn't be a problem, do you?"

Neither Aoba-Sensei nor Ebisu-Sensei seemed to have any objections, they probably were quite happy to get rid of me and the next moment I found myself at the Hokage's office, next to me were Minato-san and his Kohai, Kakashi.

"Minato?" he asked quickly, worry in his voice as he inspected the three intruders. "Did something happen?"

I felt the edge of my eyes wetted and even though I wanted to cry so badly, I held myself together. Not in front of Minato-san, not in front of Kakashi! I told myself and managed to stay as calm as it was possible for me.

I wanted them to be proud of me. Not worry about me. It was the first time for me to have been granted the permission to leave the anbu's place and I caused nothing but trouble. And if it wasn't already bad enough, Minato-san's Kohai had to be there, too. I felt his gaze on my back, making me feel even more miserable. I really wanted to be swallowed up by the floor I was standing on.

Not realizing that Minato-san had ordered me to explain the situation, I found myself listening to the soft chuunin's voice, who immediately jumped in, explaining in my place, and surprisingly defending my action.

"This boy has saved another pupil and myself from an attack which may had caused severe injuries, if it wasn't for his Hahonryū fending off the uchiha's Katon I wouldn't be standing here, but rather be in a hospital right now."

The room stayed silent and I stared at him in disbelief. Did he just try to put in a good word for me? But why?

Eventually the sandaime nodded, but still didn't say a word. I figured he'd be thinking of a good way to punish me for my action. I awaited a punishment, for ignoring a strict order coming directly from the Hokage and wasn't able to look him in the eye.

"And?", Sarutobi-sama sounded impatient and I looked at him questioningly.

"?"

"Well? Did you became a genin or not?", he chuckled at my puzzled look.

Minato-san grinned aswell, "According to Kakashi his Suiton was really impressive, ne?"

He nudged his Kohai's side and Kakashi nodded. "Even my Raiton isn't that sophisticated yet. Very suspicious he isn't chuunin yet," he added a little bored by the direction the discussion was heading. He didn't like to repeat himself, I guessed.

The Hokage seemed more than satisfied and grinned from ear to ear. I've never seen him that excited. "I can't wait to see the chuunin exams this year," he mumbled. And I feared for the worst.

This was really one hell of a day. And even though so much has happened, I can only thing of this Kakashi. It was indeed really brave to throw himself before Iruka. And pretty dumb aswell. None the less, I would have loved to fight him. Maybe some day I'll get another chance. I'm looking forward to it!

* * *

_**Ohayou,**_

_**Well, that was a long one, wasn it? I hope it was worth the wait :D**_

_**Please tell me how you liked this chapter. Are you interested in his past or would you rather jump back to the present? I could probably wallow in memories for ages xD  
**_

_**Furthermore starting from this chapter I'll differ from the actual events in the storyline even more. So don't bother about story correctness please xD**_

_**(One more thing. I know it's kinda weird since the language should be way more "childish", after all Tenz is only six, but I couldn't figure out a way to write it without it sounding too dumb in the end, also the silverhaired I'm refering to isn't Kabuto (I know that's not possible :D). I just wanted some kind of connection and maybe Oro has a small affinity for silver hair aswell *wahaha* I do :P)**_

_**~ xJKxD**_


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